Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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