thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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