Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize