Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
