When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
