belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
