Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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