dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
