I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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