It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
