Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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