I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
