Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
