i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
