you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
