forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
