dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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