I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
