Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize