I wish I could teleport
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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