if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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