I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
