am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
