what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
