So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
