She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My vagina is very pro this idea
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
