Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
