i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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