I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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