I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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