question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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