I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
