Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
