Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Mom said you looked used
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
