i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
