U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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