Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
