You work out of a Hotel?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
