omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
