let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
