Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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