i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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