ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
