your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
His hands were made for my vagina.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
