I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
