wrigley field is MILF paradise
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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