Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A+ Viking dick
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
