He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
