Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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