return my video game
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
