their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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