I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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