we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize