whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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