ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
