we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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