Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
