Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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