maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
