Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
