i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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