I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
