This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
