Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
did you just send me my own nude
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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