Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
