was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
