I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
