Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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